Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
