Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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