3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
