No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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