He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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