we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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