jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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