I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
