now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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