Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
