there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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