Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize