Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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