her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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