you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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