The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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