my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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