If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
