dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Farmville is her only friend.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
