I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
