That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
