Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
