you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
