So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
