He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
