so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
