things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I fill condoms, not promises.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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