I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize