Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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