Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize