think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
