We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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