Pappa wants mamma naked
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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