8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
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