Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
