someone threw a dead crab at me
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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