And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
