So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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