Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
