oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
