I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
