When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize