Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
