the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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