He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
