i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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