is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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