I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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