That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize