Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
