This is not my ceiling
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
