these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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