I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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