i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
