Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
