I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Sorry about my life...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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