I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
