Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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