I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Found the puke drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize