i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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