we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
