My sheets look like a crime scene.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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