Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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